A Note on Gratitude

For some, life is planned, an evolving epitaph to the shape our lessons have fashioned. The influences that have strived and oft times succeeded in wielding our compliance, our dedication…and our understanding of our worth. These are the stones that have laid the gravel of the road on which we’ve journeyed…

We are what we’ve been taught, we are that with which we’ve surrounded ourselves, by choice or by circumstance.

We are, however, ultimately the master of the choices we eventually make. Those choices may be motivated by the voices in our heads that have been fashioned by our experience…or perhaps, if we are open, listening, tuning to the unseen forces that are forever lurking within our consciousness…we are on the path to become who we were destined to be.

We are what we choose, how we see both our own possibilities and those that exist in the world around us despite our circumstance or history.

Vision is a gift that can elude even those of us who believe our sight is unencumbered.

True vision comes from a place both deep within ourselves and from an ethereal realm of spirit that is forever reminding us of our path, our mission… if only we heed its message, its call. If we choose to listen to an inner voice, to actualize this vision, we are constantly faced with challenges, forks in the road, options to consider, choices to be made.

Not a simple path, but one worth embarking upon to realize a dream, or to satisfy a calling that will sleep only so long before urging us to awaken to the realization that we are here for a reason, and  that the sharing of wisdom, of experience, of our own unique gifts, and of love… is our truest calling.

Sometimes we are gifted with another who recognizes our calling…our worth… our potential. Perhaps voices from the past have blurred our vision as to which to path to take.

Sometimes jealousy plays a part, sometimes it’s pure self-absorption by those who could but don’t lend a guiding light when it’s most needed in our youth… the reasons are numerous but the effect is all encompassing. We lose our confidence, our compass even, and our lives are spent searching for rather than finding our true north.

This site is dedicated to those who have supported my personal  journey… some with positive reinforcement and unwavering bravado, others with their pure negativity or insufferable apathy, all of whom have contributed in their own way to the unfolding of the sharing on these pages.

Words have been hanging in my consciousness for decades. Stories to be shared but previously silenced are finding a voice; due to the innocent yet supportive prompting of a man I’ll call Conrad.  He found me, saw my essence, acknowledged and applauded me.

I hope only that I offer him this same gift on these pages. I believe he’s still searching,  unable or unprepared to hear the message I send back to him as to his own worth, his own mission, his own way of being that contributes endlessly to the life that exists and revolves within his own realm. He knows not the depths of the ways he’s touched my life, my soul, my spirit.

Life sometimes gets in the way of living in reverence to those that have touched us in profound and inspiring ways. In short, I’d like to set aside the circumstance, the challenge, the humanness of our relationship…and simply say I love you.

It’s also imperative to acknowledge others that have come before… my mother, the poster child for sacrifice, dedication, humour, unrelenting and unconditional love and endearment, and her sisters Bernice and Dorothy. These three encompassed a trilogy of passion, laughter, understanding, and empathy like no others I have ever known. Unerringly faithful… each to the other, and with generosity of spirit that has known no bounds.

I too, belong to a trilogy of sisters, second generation and still hoping for the passion and spirit of those that came before us to cement our own ties and unite us as these three. They’re a hard act to follow, however, and we, although privy to the example set by these three remarkable women, haven’t quite managed to walk their path with that same confidence and without trepidation. There is work to be done…and so we toil.

I suppose life is different for us…a different generation, less encumbered by the depression era and husbands off to war, more centered on success, our respective families and social status, and of taking the privilege of peace and prosperity for granted.

I have a vision for us that is not unlike the example set for us, and my intention with this writing is to remind us all of the bond that should be honored every day, that should be cultivated and sown.

To Nance, our gentle soul, ever mindful, introspective, always kind... with a special affinity for a good belly laugh that is both engaging and infectious. An artist... she sees nuance and intricacies in art and in life often missed by others upon first glance.

To San, our mover and shaker, a stoic survivor, and a force to be reckoned with 🙂 A social butterfly with tireless wings and an expansive spirit..

To my favorite brother, a romantic retard much like myself, driven by a love of seeing the goodness in all who come before him. May he continue to do so and find happiness in letting go of the lesser and concentrating on acknowledging the love and essence of all the family he holds dear. A pilot, he sees things globally - from a perspective above the tedium. He’s ever endearing and always forgiving, and for that, I’m forever grateful. May I learn from his example.

My dear departed uncles. George and Bill… you were the father figures that were missing in my childhood, one who taught me to dance, the other who taught me to have a voice and to be seen even when I wanted to be invisible.

To Dad… I know you’ve been forever with me, I feel your presence, sense your love, feel blessed to know you in spirit.

To Johnny...  for the cows… I’ve learned to stand and stare, it’s the essence of observation and acceptance, and that’s your legacy to me.

To Ronnie, for so many great “todays”..  Ne’re I forget all the joy that is mine…

To Jeff, in the light beyond my light... a beacon to beckon  the scribe.

To Richie, for the giggles and grilling. Soul mates?

To Barclay - Put down that dishcloth! Got chocolate? A camera perhaps? But seriously... there's a simpatico and familial essence that is woven through both of us at our core... we view life through the same lens, but perhaps with different filters. Your talent and potential know no bounds... unleash them!

To Mark, truly a knight in shining armour - an example to all of us as to what dedication and commitment should be.

To Lyn, a forever friend with a heart of gold, an expansive spirit of adventure.. and an affinity for sharing laughter under the covers with a book and a Junebug. Nice memories 🙂

To Jenn and Johnny, true ambassadors of compassion and trust. May life allow me to be there for you one day as you've been for me...

To Ken - you've challenged my faith by your betrayals. Faith won - I am stronger, more resilient... and centered in my own heart.

To James – I miss you, love you more than you can fathom. My door, and my heart... are forever open.

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We all have people to thank, and to honor - for those in spirit, feel their presence after their physical bodies have transitioned, recognize their message, and honor the privilege and the inherent lesson in having walked with them for a time.

Yet even those who have touched us in ways that have hurt us have contributed to our growth, our courage, our path… send them forgiveness, and if you can, love…

Don’t dwell on the hurt, appreciate the lesson, the imperfection of the human condition, and know and forgive yourself the times that you may have behaved less than perfectly yourself.

Try to find the stillness where wisdom's whisper can be heard, allow it to bring truth to your being.

Know that intention counts…. Do small things with great love…and forgiveness…and watch how your life expands and evolves. Look for the magic, don’t dwell on obstacles real or imagined.

I wish you courage and connection with all you hold dear. This is the essence of a life well lived, and well loved.

Blessed be,

Ever

Esther 

Something to ponder, dear one, who would you thank....and why?

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Inspire a discussion on my blog page... or  from there join the forum that bests illuminates your own personal inspirations or challenges.

Let's walk this path together in reverence to life itself and with tolerance...for ourselves as well as for others.